Solitude...out loud

Nothing New...

2009-10-16T08:05:00.000-07:00

In my preparation this morning for CCF's Board/Staff Vision Retreat this weekend, I ran across this news letter article I wrote in 2002. Interestingly enough, it still applies today. (The 'Big Rocks' idea is based on an illustration about putting/fitting big rocks, gravel, pebbles, sand and water into a container. If you don't put them in in that order, the 'Big Rocks' will never fit.)...

Well, we’re half way through the semester and if I had to describe the semester in one word, it would be HUNGER. So many students, and even myself, seem to be searching and expressing a desire for the “more and better”.

But let me beg a question, “Are our ‘Big Rocks’ in place?” I don’t mean do we have our priorities in line; most of the time we are well aware of what our priorities should be. But, what do our actions say about our priorities? We can say God is our #1 priority, but if we don’t spend time with Him daily, our actions have spoken something very differently. We can say outreach and being a witness to those around us are important, but if our life style doesn’t reflect the presence of Christ, we have spoken in vein of our Savior. What do we give our time to? Do our schedules and planners reflect what we say our priorities are? How do we live outside CCF, our church and our circle of Christian friends? Our words often express where we know we need to be, but our actions reflect where we truly are.

Are our ‘Big Rocks’ in place? As our lives reflect our ‘Big Rocks’ we will come closer and closer to knowing the “more and better”. We will come closer to our HUNGER being satisfied.

Chosen, Predestined, Adopted...Deposit Made

2009-10-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

Although it is becoming harder and harder to realize I was once in the same place, it is becoming growingly more difficult for me to understand that a great number of people who call themselves Christians do not believe that Jesus is the ONLY way. Is this why some are hesitant to share their faith in Jesus, because they're not totally sure themselves? Let us remember, having faith in Jesus is something we choose. It is not forced or inflicted upon us. And not only do we choose to follow, we ourselves were chosen.

When we read Ephesians 1:3-14, we get a very clear picture of the fact that God chose us, humanity. Not only did he choose us, "he predestined us to be adopted as his sons [and daughters] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will." Wow! Two things here... First, "PREDESTINED", a word many evangelical Christians are afraid of, thinking it will cause others to point, turn and run, screaming "Calvinist" or even "heretic". We get so freaked out that we miss this much more intense word for "chosen". And not just chosen, "chosen...before the creation of the world." Calm down, we still have our "free will", Paul even reminds us this status is "freely given".

Second, "ADOPTED", a word I am understanding more every day. When we adopted Tewodros, our family spent months praying, seeking prayer from others, filling out paperwork, waiting, preparing our home and our family, investing a great deal of money, and finally, traveling, going out of our way to bring home our newest son. It was nothing anyone forced us to do. We chose to go through the process. We chose to change our family. We chose to make the investment.

Kind of looks like what God did for those of us who follow Jesus "through Jesus Christ." He chose us, sent his Son to do the work for us, is preparing for us, went out of his way to come get us, and made the investment for us. Investment? It would be easy to say God invested the life of his Son, which he did, and which is vital to this whole adoption thing. However, the investment I'm referring to is the deposit Paul speaks of, "Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession."

God not only chose us to be adopted as his sons and daughters, "co-heirs with Christ", he put down a deposit, the Holy Spirit, so that we could be guaranteed that what we say we believe is true. A part of himself IN US!! A mark that we are his own. He's been choosing and marking his people from the beginning. It's all over the scriptures. He chose us first, but we MUST chose him, knowing that He is the ONLY way.

Solitude...out loud

2009-10-09T21:41:00.000-07:00

So here's the idea. I've noticed that what I consider to be my best blog entries are based on scripture and the things God is teaching me. Much of this happens in some place of Solitude, like a tree perched alone on the rocky cliff of a mountain. The view of the world, God's creation, is amazing, but the intimacy with God is what stirs the heart.

However, my idea is that I will be sharing these thoughts, insights, meditations, pondering with you, those who choose to read. Therefore, Solitude...out loud. My hope is to add two or three posts a week, hopefully developing some sort of schedule very soon.

As you will see, I edited down my previous posts, but there are still a few older ones listed.

Life Changing Addendum

2009-03-06T20:22:00.000-08:00

So, I felt like I needed to add an additional thought or two to yesterday's blog.

Basically it's this, when we begin to model our prayers after those of Jesus, we must be careful to realize what we are saying.

If we pray 'BE GLORIFIED in me', then we need to understand we are saying to God that we don't want to do things that don't bring him glory. In other words, we need to begin to make sure that the things we do, say, watch, listen to, and think about, are bringing glory to God. It also means we need to begin to remove things that don't bring glory to God from our lives. Also, we need to follow in the footsteps of John the Baptist and begin to DECREASE, so that Jesus may INCREASE (John 3:20). This also applies to praying to 'BE MADE HOLY'.

If we pray for 'PROTECTION from the evil one', NOT SAFETY, then we need to understand that God may begin to put us in places that aren't so safe. I mean we pray for safety in everything that we do, but what if God doesn't want us to be safe. What if he wants to put us on the front lines? What if he wants to PROTECT us because we are in unsafe places? Some say "the safest place you can be is in the center of God's will", but I have been taught that the center of God's will can be a very dangerous place.

If we pray for 'PERFECT UNITY' in truth and in love, then we need to understand that God desires us to be united with ALL followers of Jesus. This may mean people we don't totally agree with theologically. This means people of 'EVERY nation, EVERY tribe, and EVERY tongue.' This means people we may have thought don't deserve the same grace God offered all who follow him. This means we may have to swallow our pride and offer others forgiveness, for things we have considered unforgivable.

I just think we need to understand that we need to pray as Jesus did, but we need to understand what we are asking, what we are saying.

4 Kingdom Prayer Points - John 17

2009-03-05T20:54:00.000-08:00

So...For a while now I've been considering putting some of my personal notes up from my prep for teaching at Overflow. You know, a 'Cliffs Notes' version, including some of the insights that don't make it to final lesson.

Well, the sad part is, I had some good insights from John 17, but they got erased when my computer mysteriously decided to reboot in the middle of final presentation prep yesterday.

Anyway, here are what I see as the '4 Prayer Points' we can pull from Jesus' prayer. Notice, nothing personal. No please give me. No please help me. No please bless me. The only ME focus is that God, the Father, be glorified in ME. So read John 17, then check these out. Imagine what God WILL do, if we all start praying like Jesus did...

BE GLORIFIED in me (v. 1-5)

KNOWING YOU...Eternal Life

check out this definition of 'Eternal Life' in v. 3

"...that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."

This means that if you KNOW, I mean really KNOW, Jesus, then Eternal Life is NOW!!!

KINGDOM EXPANSION/'Global Domination'

for those who aren't yet believers/followers (v. 20)

by prayer, not by force

COMPLETE UNITY among believers/followers (v. 23, follows theme throughout)

in truth

in love

And let's not forget PROTECTION, not safety, but protection from Satan's attacks (v. 11, 15).
And 'BEING MADE HOLY' (sanctification), 'sanctified' in v. 19.

This is what Jesus prayed. We would do well to follow his example. What could/would happen if we did? Why not try/start?

random thoughts... (part 2)

2008-11-10T20:07:00.000-08:00

...thoughts about what I've been reading...

So the more I read God's Word, the more I realize this is my story. I mean really, I'm not trying to be self-absorbed, every day, every page, more about me. And the more I think about it, I hope you realize it's about you to. It's my story, but it's your story too.

So I'm reading John chapter 9, the story of a man who was blind from birth. Jesus does this really cool, while kind of repulsive, thing. He spits in the dirt, takes what I imagine to be his finger to stir the dirt and saliva into mud, then pats it firmly into this guys eyes. I wonder what the blind guy thought, and I wonder what he felt, and I wonder what he thought this man was putting on his face. After the mud was set, Jesus sends they guy to a local pool to wash his face. Hmm. Anyway, the guy does it and for the first time in his life he is able to see. Colors, light, everything before he could only feel, smell, hear, or imagine, he can SEE. Then, get this, the man when asked who did this he answers, "The man they call Jesus." He doesn't even know who gave him his sight. Soon after he decides that Jesus must be, at least, a prophet. He then determines Jesus must be sent from God. In conclusion, he acknowledges Jesus as LORD!

But, that's my story!! No, I've never physically been blind. But before I knew Jesus, I was blind. My eyes were closed to the world around me. Sad to say, until the past few years I was blind to the world around me. But Jesus opened my eyes. But when I first knew Jesus, I didn't really know who he was, just some guy. Then I learned, no, he is a very good teacher. No, no, he must be associated with God. Oh, wow, no, not at all, he is God in flesh, and he touched me. He opened my eyes; he changed my life, my perspective.

Jesus goes on to have an encounter with the Pharisees. While physically, they can see clearly, Jesus tells them they are blind. Isn't that how we are, the more we think we know, and the closer we think we are to God, the more we realize that, YES, we have a visual perspective, but we really cannot SEE at all.

Coming Home

2008-10-20T00:38:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday, October 14 we finally mailed our application to Gladney, our adoption agency, as well as our CIS (Citizenship and Immigration Services) application, not to mention a series of checks that make me dizzy just thinking about. What does this mean? It means our son is coming home!!

I know this may be hard to comprehend, it is hard for me as well. So, after months of prayer and waiting until God aligned all our hearts and minds, Suzanne and I have begun the process of international adoption for Ethiopia. Suzanne has desired to have another child since she forgot the pain she went through delivering Eli. Honestly, I've been selfishly content with our two beautiful children. Then came the day that God began to challenge my thinking. The next thing I know, I'm talking to Suzanne about adoption. Not only that, adopting a child who doesn't even look like us, from somewhere else in the world. Before I know it I'm sitting on my couch on April 16, just before wur*ship, asking Ashleigh and Eli if they would like to have a little brother or sister. Over time we have chosen to adopt a boy between the ages of 2-3 1/2.

(I want to thank Pete Cocco, our Fall Retreat speaker from Encounter campus ministry at Illinois State University and adoptive parent of two kids from Ethiopia, for helping me understand this.) So, if Ashleigh or Eli were taken away from Suzanne and I, and we learned that they had been dropped in the middle of another country, we would do whatever was necessary, or in our power, to get them home to us. Well, that's exactly how it is now that God has called us to this. Somewhere in the middle of Ethiopia, we have a son. We don't know his name. We don't even know what he looks like. But he is no less our son than Ashleigh is our daughter, or Eli is our son. He is alive, somewhere. Now, we must do whatever we can to bring him home.

Please pray for our family as we go though this process of bringing __________ home.

(Oh yeah, sometimes I call him Tre', as in #3, just to be able to call him something.)

Also, check out Suzanne's blog Journey to Ethiopia to follow our adoption process at suzannestem.blogspot.com

never changing

2008-10-19T05:40:00.000-07:00

So, in our Sunday school class for the past few weeks we've been answering the question "Can God change his mind?" While a good question to consider, we must remember that whether through means of prayer, or repentance, God may very well change his mind, via his actions, but God himself DOES NOT CHANGE.

I've been reading Ezekiel for a little over a week now. And it is very clear that God is not pleased at all with his people Israel and the way they have adapted to the customs, culture, and sin of those around them. As I've read it is so dark, full of plagues, death, and destruction, as a result of idolatry and "detestable things." But, in chapter 9, God instructs a remnant to be "marked" for their grieving and lamenting over detestable acts. Then in chapter 10, as a result of it all "the glory of God departed," and at the beginning of 11 he executes his judgement for conforming to those around them [SIN]. It's all been kinda cool, learning about God's constant NON-tolerance of sin, but honestly, kind of a downer in the day to day reading.

But today, it happened, at the end of chapter 11...RESTORATION! "I will gather...I will give...They will return...They will follow...They will be my people, and I will be their God!" Yea God! You are sooooo faithful! Even when you know the end of the story God is always surprising me, yet never really surprising me at all, with his faithfulness to his promise(s). NEVER CHANGING!!

"Ever faithful,

ever true,

You I know,

You never let go.

Oh, what love,

in joy and pain,

in sun and rain,

You're the same,

oh, You never let go."

- David Crowder

from You Never Let Go

Psalm 51

2008-10-10T08:16:00.000-07:00

OK, before you go any further, please read Psalm 51...

In fact, go ahead and read 2 Samuel 12 as well...

So, yes, this is a poem, a song, that David wrote after being called out by the prophet Nathan for his sin of adultery with Bathsheba, conspiring to murder her husband Uriah, and the whole scandalous cover-up to hide his sin. But this is MY story! And, it's YOUR story, too! Please don't just read this as just a crying out from David's soul for repentance, restoration and wholeness. It is all that, but don't just leave it there as David's story.

Here's how it works. David knows God. The David crying out in repentance here, is the same David in Psalm 42 crying, "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you," longs for you. Because David has sought after, longed after God, he knows Him. He knows His character. He knows His mercy, His unfailing love, His compassion, His holiness, and let us not forget His justice. David knows the penalty of sin. He knows he deserves nothing less than death.

David also know God's ability to make him clean again, to "create in me a pure heart," to "renew a steadfast spirit." (Look up the definition of steadfast.) But more importantly, because David knows God, he knows what God desires. Not a gift. Not a sacrifice. Not a burnt offering. Not a check to a church or charity. Not an act of service in the community, served in guilt. Not even an increased participation at church or other Christian event. Rather, God desires us to enter His presence with a "broken spirit...a broken and contrite [repentant] heart."

This is what God desired from David, and he knew it because he had longed for God and knew Him. This is what God desires from you and I as well. But, we often seek to please or impress God. Why? Maybe to appease His justice. Maybe because we haven't longed for God to know that "You do not delight in sacrifice...you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings." God wants your whole heart, your WHOLE LIFE.

Something Clicked

2008-10-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

So, my friend Mark Nelson says, almost every time he preaches, the Bible is "one big story of God putting his family back together." I believe this to be VERY true! However, honestly, the phrase has seemed to be a little cliche until last night at overflow.

First, I have to go back a few weeks when I was teaching from John 3 about the late night encounter between Jesus and Nicodemus about 'rebirth'. As I was concluding the talk God was teaching ME. As I shared about how we had to understand things about chapters 1 and 2 in order to fully understand chapter 3, He began to open my eyes to some amazing things. Then, last night, as I was teaching from John 6 about Jesus feeding the 5,000, he opened my eyes again. As we examined verse 35, Jesus says, "I am the Bread of Life! Anyone who comes after me will never be hungry again, and anyone who believes in me will never thirst again." We CANNOT understand this without knowing and understanding the conversation he has with the Samaritan woman at the well in chapter 4 about giving water that will cause her to never thirst again. And you CANNOT understand any of it without understanding 'rebirth'.

SO HERE'S THE DEAL, but get this, it is something I have known to be true for a long time, but today I sense that I KNOW it for the first time. The Bible, God's Word, is not a bunch of random stories. Although, that is so often how we have been taught and how we understand it. It isn't this cool thing Jesus did at the wedding at Canna, then this cool thing when he fed 5,000 people, then the resurrection story, and don't forget the Day of Pentecost, or Paul's conversion, or the worship songs of David, or the story of Moses and the Israelites wandering in the desert. First, John is ONE story; one story that parallels three other stories of Jesus. But get this, John (and the other three gospels) are just a small part of a much bigger story. And here's the kicker, IT IS ALL ONE STORY, "the story of God bringing his family back together." It's not cliche at all. It is fact. We have to have all of it in order to properly understand any of it.

Thank you God for such an awesome story that is still unfolding today. Thank you Mark for allowing me to see it in a creative way. Check out Mark's blog and the church where he teaches at www.crossingsknoxville.com

Scandalous (part 2) -- "I'm not your freak show!"

2008-10-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

So we read here in John 6 that about 5,000 men sat down on the grass to eat. This count does not include women and children. Most teachers would suggest the attendance count for this meal is now in the ballpark of 7,500-10,000. I must admit, I have no idea what this looks like, so since we're talking about grass lets consider the playing field at Dowdy-Ficklen Stadium (or any college football playing surface near you). Pack the playing field out, not the stands, just the grass playing surface. (Now, for good measure, imagine a circus tent over the top, because these people are looking for a show.)

Jesus had just met every person's physical need the day before. Feeding them all until they "had enough to eat." Now, not even realizing Jesus had done the whole walking on water thing, they come looking for him again. "What miraculous sign then will you give that we may see it and believe?" Come on Jesus, let's move the circus tent to this side of the lake. Do another show. Do it again; do it again Jesus! Imagine Jesus, "Don't you get it! I'm not your freak show!"

"Come on Jesus, just one more act. One more show. At least do that feeding thing again. Many of us are here again. If you just feed us again, then we'll believe." Now, bring it into our setting, our context, "Come on Jesus, do it again. Just give me direction one more time." "Just help me out of this one, and I'll be all yours this time. No holding back, I promise." "If you'll just get me outta this jam, then I'll...." "If you'll just give me a sign, then I'll...."

So Jesus, knowing "what is in a man," says something very profound, something described by his followers as "hard teaching" that some cannot, will not accept. Jesus said, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to be will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." He then goes on to talk about "eating his flesh" and "drinking his blood" to have life. But this goes against EVERYTHING their religion taught. It sounded so cannibalistic, though this is not what Jesus was saying at all. He wants to be our SUSTENANCE, not a talent act, not a 'freak show'. But, again, misunderstood.

Jesus is fulfilling the words of the prophet Isaiah, "...he will be a stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall." The word here is a SCANDALIZO, from SCANDALON, or 'stumbling stone.' His teaching is scandalous, it goes against everything they knew, everything they had been taught. It goes against everything WE KNOW, everything WE are taught. What will WE do? What will I do? What will YOU do? Will you stumble over Jesus' calling you to something different than what the world around you says? Will you turn away from 'HARD TEACHING'? OR, will you allow Jesus to sustain you, to fill your hunger and quench your thirst? Even when it's offensive? Even when it doesn't follow the way of the world? Even when it goes against EVERYTHING you've heard or believed before?

Will you be like the many who "turn back and no longer follow," or will you be one of the few who follow with reckless abandon never to hunger or thirst again?!? Jesus is asking, it's your choice...

10 Years

2008-10-03T20:18:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, it would seem I have too much free time. Not really, I'm just thinking a lot these past couple of days.

If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would be at East Carolina University today, I would have told you you must have gotten ahold of some bad drugs. Moreover, if you would of told me the love I would have for this university, I might have written you off as a lunatic.

This past Wednesday my family celebrated 10 years of ministry at ECU. Honestly, when we came we believed God was calling us here, but we came grudgingly. Not that we didn't want to come, we were excited. It was new. It was exciting. But it wasn't long before I decided I wasn't sure I wanted to be here long. In fact, after less than a year there was a door opened for me to leave, but I felt strongly we needed to give it some more time.

The second year I made a commitment to stay until that incoming class graduated. Three years into that commitment I was spent. I wanted desperately to leave. In fact, I had a couple interviews, in Ohio and Illinois. When Connie left for Ghana in November 2002 we shared with her our hope to be gone by the time she returned in July 2003. That summer I shared with the CCF staff I would be leaving before classes began. But God had another plan. He shut the doors on both opportunities.

So, just before classes began in August 2003 I had a "heart-to-heart" with God one night in my backyard under a starlit sky. I was angry. I cried. I yelled. I pouted. I did not want to be here any longer and didn't know what to do. Realizing that we were here, and remembering that five years before Suzanne and I prayed and sensed God calling us to ECU, I told God that if this is where he wanted me/us, then I would be committed to ministry at ECU until he led us somewhere else.

That year God brought in a group of wonderful students who began to take ownership of the ministry. God began to change my heart. The ministry began to grow, doubling in size over each of the next two years. Connie returned from Ghana and after a semester came on staff at ECU. Since then I have fallen in love with ECU and the students here. I love the Purple and Gold, and call myself a Pirate. More important than anything, I love what God is doing in the lives of students at ECU, and am blessed to get to be a part of it, and a part of the lives of the students.

Don't get me wrong, I've loved college students all along, I just had a hard time being here, far from our homes, friends, and families. It was hard, but GOD IS FAITHFUL! Thank you for allowing us to serve on the AWESOME campus!

As I wrote this I realized I was at ECU for three years before I owned my first item of ECU apparel. Today I own enough Pirate apparel to wear purple and gold every day, if I choose. AMEN!

The point...Sometimes we may not see what God is doing. It isn't always what we want. But if we will surrender our will to His, He is faithful. He can be trusted. He will change our heart and align it with his, if we will just let Him. If we will not be so locked in on our plan as to allow Him to use us, even when we want to run and hide.

Scandalous (part 1)

2008-10-03T04:01:00.000-07:00

Wow...So Jesus has just fed the 5,000. He now flees, because, if you remember, John has told us in 3:25, "he knew what was in a man," and Jesus knows they intend to come and "make him king by force." Following a miraculous quick trip by foot back across the lake (Sea of Galilee), the people find Jesus again. He teaches some VERY hard stuff, leaving the religious leaders grumbling and the people confused.

Then get this, verse 60, "On hearing this, many of his disciples said, 'This is hard teaching. Who can accept it?'" Then Jesus responds, "Does this offend you?...The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. Yet there are some of you who do not believe." Now here's the kicker, verse 66, "From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him." Not only that, then Jesus asked the Twelve, giving them an open door to leave as well.

What in the world! In our world people would be called out left and right. Not just for HARD teaching, but it doesn't seem to bother Jesus very much that his teaching is causing people to leave and not follow. Now I don't believe for a minute that Jesus is unconcerned about those who have turned back, but what has he talked about that has the people so distraught. Yes, he said some things about eating his flesh and drinking his blood, but that isn't the main point at all. I think the theme that has them confused and angered is continued from Jesus' conversation with the woman at the well, and now advanced after the feeding of the 5,000. Jesus says, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."

To be continued...